I’ve been learning to think new thoughts.
I believe that what you think is reflected in the world around you, but I don’t reckon it matters if that’s true or not. I reckon what you think controls the way you see the world around you and affects what you do or do not allow yourself to achieve – which basically adds up to the same thing.
So I started to look at what’s going on in my life and started to question what I am thinking for me to see the world as I do. Then I chose to think new some new thoughts:
- I am enough (already – right now!)
- My ideas count
- My happiness is important
- I can have it all
And sometimes these thoughts seem to set me free. They open something up inside, and fill me with a surge of optimism, confidence and joy. I’m happier, more relaxed, I have more energy. Other times, these thoughts connect me with a feeling of ick – unpleasantness, fear. At these times, I have resolved to think these thoughts even more.
When faced with a financial bottleneck, the new thoughts told me I (just me - all by myself – right now!) can create a way out. And with that realisation, I made the first move.
The next stage, it seems, is to meet the Fear.
After opening a door to opportunity, there’s a really strong urge to close it again quick. The Fear makes me feel like I’m walking through some invisible treacle, resistance that slows my step, holds me in one place. My jaw is tight, my whole being is tight. It’s like I’m being held in a vice. Nothing is moving, the energy has stopped. I want to stop thinking my new thoughts and go back to ‘I can’t’.
After all, it’s safe where I am. I know the boundaries, I’m in control of what I let into my life. I’m used to the struggle and I kind of miss it when it’s gone.
Time and again, I’ve stepped onto the path of least resistance and felt what is possible if I could just believe in myself and stop fighting for a while. And time and again I’ve stepped back into my safety zone which, while unsatisfying and frustrating, is at least without fear.
But this time I’m ready to find my way to the other side. The new thoughts are becoming habits. I can feel them settling into my being and creating my new reality. And as they do, and I act, the fear is disturbed, unsettled and brought to the fore. And I meet it and feel it and know I’ll survive.
It’s never as bad as you think.
Your turn: What about those moments when you felt like you were about to make a dramatic change to your circumstances when it all just stopped- what did the fear feel like? What were you afraid of? How could you make it work next time?