Tag Archives: possibility

Don’t fight the sadness – what to do when worry has gone

Posted on August 6, 2012 | 1 Comment

There’s a strange, gentle sadness left in the space when the worry has gone. 

The sadness is like a space, the calm after the storm, the peace after a really good cry.  It’s like you’ve been carrying something and suddenly you let it go and you’re left with the memory of its weight and your arms are still formed into its shape.  Despite the relief, you still hold that space and, for a short while, while you adjust, it is missed.

This is a time of possibility, the chance to choose a new shape, rediscover the freedom of your arms, adjust your body, find a new balance.  It’s a wobbly moment: something doesn’t feel right, something that almost seemed normal is no longer there.  Even after you have let go of the thing, you need a moment to let go of its memory.

No matter, time is what you have. Continue reading →

→ 1 Comment

Posted in Inspiring Change, Riding The Wave

Tagged , , ,

The principle of creative living – an illustration

Posted on January 3, 2012 | 4 Comments

Back in the 1970s, artist Amikam Toren took the pieces of broken milk bottles and painstakingly, lovingly put them back together.   

 From a collection of identical, factory-produced, functional objects came a row of original artworks that each told a unique tale of tragedy, rediscovery and hope.

 I don’t know the artist’s original intentions, but what this work says to me is this:

 The very act of destruction is a creation.

 By bringing together the pieces of an irretrievably broken object, a new story is woven into its fabric: a new layer of richness, something that makes it new and unique.  Moreover, the process feeds the artist and helps them grow. Continue reading →

→ 4 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged , , , , ,

On manifestation with metaphors, and being a bit silly

Posted on January 2, 2011 | 4 Comments

For a very long time the search for inner meaning has been a very, very serious one.  Since setting out as a coach, my attempts at making myself something attractive to paying customers were also very, very serious (because I wanted to be taken seriously).  Then, just over 2 weeks ago, at the end of a very, very serious post about Small Me, the following appeared:

 In my abundance log this morning I’ve added a Disagreement-Proof Small Me Transporter, with convenient carry handle for bringing her along on my journey.  The transporter has an added glass extension so she can explore her new habitat from a place of safety, with an escape hatch for when she’s feeling brave enough to step outside.

 This is what I drew (for anyone who was wondering).  It’s really not very good, but it worked (see below) so I’m ok to show it now.

 

At the precise point I drew that, I allowed myself to remember I like silly things like nonsense poetry, kids books and bad puns.  I don’t just like them, I love messing about with words and delight in chucking crazy thoughts together just to see what happens.  I just thought they didn’t fit with a BUSINESS (because that’s serious) and especially not with a business focused on the serious task of personal growth. 

 Dur.

 Getting a little silly opens doors

 The answer to my request, by the way, snuck up on me one morning in the form of a brand new metaphor which is still slowly taking shape in my subconscious.  (I’m trying very, very hard to make my brain leave it alone but I am playing with coloured pencils, pictures, scissors and glue to help it along a bit.)  The same happened for Tori Deaux of Circus Serene when her monsters settled down to design a ‘Habit Habitat’, only for her to suddenly realise it had been delivered without her having to do any of the hard work of looking for it.

 I’ve started noticing metaphors all over the place recently and they work so well on so many levels because they are packed with possibility and positively bursting with meaning.  For manifestation, they are amazingly powerful for the following reasons: 

  • They do not connect directly with The Thing You Do Not Have, therefore bypassing all your self-destruct mechanisms in one fell swoop. 
  • They tap directly into your creativity gene and let your imagination fly. 
  • They neatly package (with pretty paper and ribbon) the essence of what you want, leaving the details up for grabs and opening up possibilities outside of your experience.
  • Your brain (oh so much to say about the Brain – watch this space) can’t get itself around a feeling-based idea so it gives up, sits back and waits to see what happens.  Brilliant! 

As Havi Brooks of The Fluent Self observed, as soon as you have a metaphor the energy changes. Havi hangs out in a pirate ship with a monkey and her trusted rubber duck so I feel safe to assume it works for her, too.

 The freedom of a metaphor

Metaphors give you room to play around, to explore.  Take Tori’s circus and Havi’s pirate ship as well-formed examples.  My little troupe of travelling players (if that is what they remain once the process is complete) are free to tell all sorts of stories to a whole range of people from any number of scenarios (freedom!). The terribly serious becomes actually quite a lot of fun, something you want to spend time with every day.  It’s not daunting, but a playful adventure.  

Try it, why don’t you!

 Comments – today’s metaphorical requests to the Universe included a Real-Me-to-English dictionary, a lion for courage and a special grippy glove to help me grasp the slippery figures of financial plans.  I’d love to hear some of yours, or what you think of all this silliness.

→ 4 Comments

Posted in Miscellaneous

Tagged ,

The Danger and Beauty of Allowing Yourself to Stop

Posted on October 30, 2010 | 1 Comment

What would really happen if you stopped?

My current focus on time is raising so many questions for me.  Why, for instance, do we actually feel so desperate about time?  Why do we never seem to have enough?

This morning it hit me:  we don’t have enough time because too much of the time we have is being spent on things that go against our nature, that do not make us happy or move us forward in our lives.   Time doing the right thing never, ever feels like time wasted!  The stress of having a lot to do on the right things is nothing like the deep inner frustration of wasting our time on something which, to us, is pointless or not in alignment with who we are.

In order to deal with this, we have learnt to keep ourselves busy!  A character in the hilarious ‘Hitch Hiker’s guide to the Galaxy’ concludes that humans keep talking because otherwise they may have to start using their brains.  Similarly, I think we keep busy because otherwise we’d have to start looking inside and addressing the difficult things, such as asking ourselves what we’re doing here, making decisions about what we can do to make ourselves happy… and facing up to the fact that it’s time to make changes.

The other danger of stopping is being hit by huge, debilitating waves of exhaustion! Because we never stop, it becomes harder and more dangerous to stop a little bit because what we actually need to do is stop a LOT, regroup and let go of the reins.  Scary stuff.

I suspect that there are a great deal of us out there who, if they’re honest, have little going on in their schedule but never actually allow themselves to stop.  Somehow, we’ve programmed ourselves into believing that busy is the same as productive, that stopping is failure and that nothing will work if we don’t do our bit. 

But what if….?

  • What if the world did actually manage to carry on without you while you rested and remembered how to enjoy yourself?
  • What if you took the time to look inside and found inner resources that you never knew you had?
  • What if you found a better way to spend your time that felt worthwhile, exciting and fun?
  • What if you stopped wasting your time on things that aren’t right for you and found you’re actually more productive when you focus on the right things?

Stopping hurts.  Stopping is hard because we have forgotten how to do it.  Stopping will cause all sorts of pain and frustration to float to the surface that you’ve kept nicely in check by keeping yourself busy.  Stopping will ask you to assess what on earth you’re doing with your life.  It isn’t going to be easy.

But stopping will help you remember who you are, and that is a wonderful, exciting opportunity that may change your relationship with time forever.   Take that opportunity if you dare!

→ 1 Comment

Posted in Miscellaneous

Tagged , , , , ,

What are you really asking for?

Posted on August 12, 2010 | Leave a comment

It seems that life at the moment is trying to tell me something.  Now, I believe quite strongly that we get what we ask for, yet what I thought I was asking for is absolutely not what I’m getting!  What on earth is that all about?

 My suspicion is that my mind thinks I’m asking for one thing, but a deeper part of me has a much bigger ask, and that’s what is being handed my way!  Confused?  Try being me right now.

Actually, looking round the web, I have a feeling that thousands of people are having exactly the same problem.  The world as we know it just isn’t working in the way we expect it to, yet coming up amongst the wreckage is a new culture of sharing, support, trust, and a deep desire for personal growth.  Look at the freedom of movement brought about by the EU, the creative commons license, small localised bartering systems, the way bloggers become successful by supporting and enthusing about others…. I could go on.  We seem to be rebelling against the prescriptive, self-serving nature of our society.  We want something better and it’s wonderful!

At the same time, society seems to be desperately trying to hold onto what it knows best.  Knee-jerk governmental reactions to controversial situations result in restrictive rule-making; the media indulges in danger, disaster, panic and fear; and insurance companies restrict spontaneity at every turn.  

But the world is turning on its head, and power is starting to come from the bottom up.  Have you noticed how new businesses are popping up all over the place, and entrepreneurs abound? Governments and multinational corporations aren’t leaders, they’re followers.  They are controlled by our behaviour and we’re not playing the game.  We’re finding freedom within ourselves, recognising our true strengths and giving our best to the world – one person at a time. 

It’s about positive attitude, but it’s also about listening to yourself.  If something isn’t working, you need to be asking yourself why.  If you’re anything like me, then you probably have a big tangled mess to unravel but you need to trust that things will come clear in time.  Somewhere within, a great big ask is being answered.  Be patient.

→ Leave a comment

Posted in Miscellaneous

Tagged , , ,

Time to be true to you

Posted on July 13, 2010 | Leave a comment

I haven’t attended to the blog for a couple of days as I was determined to get my website up and available to the world.  And I did it!  Hugely proud of my efforts, but not so proud of some of the decisions I made. I have found myself trying to tone down my words so as not to scare people away. But actually I know what I need to say because I know what I want to offer through coaching: me. If you’re scared off, then maybe I’m not right for you.

I’ve gone through a lot of my life being something for someone else, and trying to convince others (and myself!) that whatever I’m doing at any particular time is making me very happy. Finding myself trying to explain why it’s a challenge to be working in the local chemist when I’m educated to the hilt and actually a rather talented and creative individual. Not that there’s anything wrong with working in a shop per se. It’s a wonderful place to start your working life, great for people watching, and it suits some people down to the ground. Where it starts to look dodgy is when you actually know deep down there’s something much more important and productive you could be doing, and that you’re actually very unhappy.

My decision to be a Coach came from a totally different place. I took a huge (for me) financial and personal risk to do the training because it felt absolutely and totally right. As I started to do it I felt myself actually growing. I felt solid, indestructible. Throw anything at me and it would bounce. Unstoppable woman!

What an amazing, fantastic place to be. And all because I listened to my instincts and mentally overrode the blank faces and indifferent ‘Coaching eh? Oh right’ responses from my nearest and dearest. But for my having exhausted all other possibilities, those responses had the potential to stop me right there and then, in my tracks.

It’s so easy to be derailed by a desire to please. But what do others know of you? They might be thinking it’s an awful risk, they may not wish to see you disappointed, they may even feel threatened as your bravery highlights their own inaction. They are always, because it’s the only thing anyone is able to do, looking at it from their own perspective. It’s time to take a deep breath, look inside and ask yourself, ‘is it right for me?’.

The thing is, you have an enormous amount to offer. When you’re reflecting back to others what they expect or what you think they want to hear, you’re not giving them the full and amazing benefit of you. Keep yourself small and you have a small amount to give. You haven’t been fed, so you don’t feel inclined to share. Take a risk in the right direction and you’ll grow. You’ll tap into something so much bigger than you ever believed possible and guess what? It’s you! Now how much have you got to offer others?

→ Leave a comment

Posted in Miscellaneous

Tagged , , , ,

Open up your world

Posted on July 8, 2010 | Leave a comment

 

I need insurance to be able to coach people.  This has at some point become a legal requirement (why can’t people make choices for themselves any more?), which I suppose it is for any profession nowadays.  All well and good, then, off I go to find an insurer.  One who is open to the wonderful possibilities of cyberspace.  I want to open myself up to the world and to see who comes my way.  I want to be free to work from anywhere in the world I happen to be.  That’s the wonder of the internet, surely? 

 Well actually, maybe not.  So far, I’ve found ones who will insure me to work with the world as long as I keep my feet in the UK, and ones who will insure me from anywhere in the world - for a limited period - as long as I only work with UK clients.  Not quite what I had in mind.

 That got me thinking.  This world is controlled by insurance companies.  Teachers can’t take their class out of the school grounds without planning 3 weeks in advance to get the risk assessments written and authorised (hardly impromptu).  They’re not allowed to touch children – console them if they’re crying, or even apply sun cream.  People are encouraged not to clear the pavement in icy weather in case of legal action.  Torbay in Devon, England was rumoured to consider the removal of its famous palm trees in the name of the Health And Safety monsters.  I would also swear that sell-by dates are shorter than they need to be – and when food’s out of date, companies can’t even feed the homeless with it because the risk is too high.

Risk.  That’s it.  Insurance assesses the risk of every single situation and then places limitations on every life out there to minimise that risk.  It encourages us to withhold from performing acts of kindness, to throw away mountains of perfectly good food, and to remove things of beauty that happen to be a little spiky (at 60 feet). 

We most certainly – all of us – have a responsibility here, but that’s another post.  What does avoiding risk do to you?  You have to make your life smaller, reduce your options, and eventually stagnate.  When we take risks, we open our hearts to other people and to new and exciting possibilities.   It is only by taking risks that we can understand who we are and where we belong in the world.  It’s the only way to make a difference and be noticed.

Talk to the person next to you at the bus stop – you might make a friend.  Try something you’re afraid of – you might love it.  Try out an idea that others think won’t work – listen to your intuition.  Find ways to challenge this crazy world – you might actually make a difference! 

I challenge you to take one risk today.  And when you’re comfortable with that, take another one.  Step into the unknown and you’ll open up your world to infinite possibilities – how exciting is that?

→ Leave a comment

Posted in Miscellaneous

Tagged , , ,